In an effort to use work that I did but got rejected I will be posting them here in a series I will call “From the Rejected Pile.” What else is a blog for if not to post all my wonderful writing? Plus I have to post it or one of two things will happen to it. 1) I will bury it in a folder and never see it again or 2) I will live in a constant state of editing until it is a completely different piece and I still don’t like it!
Dear recent college grads who are “too good to work in an entry level job,”
Congratulations! You completed your college career and you have a shiny new degree (and mountains of debt) to prove it. The downside is that you applied for all the highest paying jobs, at the largest companies in the all the biggest cities and not a single one called you back. Odd I know, because who doesn’t want to hire a Greek Mythology major with a minor in Women’s Studies? Sure, you wouldn’t make an ideal Senior Logistical Analyst but you could learn, right? You explained that all very clearly in your cover letter. The brilliantly crafted cover letter where you compared the fall of western civilization to Melanion winning a footrace against Atlanta with those three golden apples. Genius. Ten pages of single spaced genius.
But here is the reality of what’s happening. You moved back in with your parents. You have been unemployed for 10 months. You father is sick of feeding his adult child for free and your mother’s still not convinced the memoir you are penning will be your ticket to riches. You either need to start mowing the lawn from time to time or get a damn job.
It is really unfortunate that you have never had a job. You have no experience and, frankly, you have no skills. You’d think that the three years you served as Spirit Chair for your sorority would count for something but it doesn’t. I know, I’m shocked, too. And just because your student adviser said you’d never get a job if you refused to do co-ops or internships doesn’t mean you need to prove him wrong immediately. Work your way up the ladder and, in 10 years, send him a picture of yourself in business casual sipping a midday margarita with clients. Revenge is all about the long game.
I know you don’t want to “flip burgers” or “wear those stupid paper hats” but you need to start somewhere. Plus, you do know there are other jobs than just fast food service, right? There are jobs in offices that pay equally as little and you’re respected even less. There’s a reason they are called entry level positions. They aren’t jobs people enjoy, aspire to or even tolerate for very long. They are one thing and one thing only: resume fodder.
Before you jump down my throat and tell me the story about how your dad was laid off and unemployed for months before landing his dream job… remember, he had work experience. Going from an experienced accountant to an entry level job paying minimum wage is a hard pill to swallow, one only stooped too when all options are exhausted. He could honestly say he had skills, experience, and a well-structured resume. You have no work force skills, laughable experience, and your resume has 5 typos and a drawing on it.
If nothing else, just think of it as a rite of passage or a badge of honor. No one will ever respect you later in life if you don’t have at least one war story to throw in while everyone reminisces about shitty jobs they used to have. Hey, maybe actively seek out terrible jobs just so you have something to talk about later, or blog about today! (Seriously though, your blog is really suffering. No one is buying the Adventures as an Unemployed Statistic series you’ve been working on. It’s getting a little depressing.)
So please, put on some pants, shake off your false pride and get a job.